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| Home > Features > Love Marriages
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| | Love Marriages
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 With increasing interaction between boys and girls and of course a changed outlook in family values, it is not easier for the intending parties to look for their own match after getting to each other rather than just going for a matched alliance by someone else. Though love marriages do not wipe out the significance of arranged marriages in Indian culture, it`s now getting more and more common among Indian young generations. Love marriages, unlike any other form of marriages expects to have complete freedom of choice for the intending bride and the groom, no third party or parents are involved in taking a decision about who one should get married to. With social changes taking place in India, caste system is getting dissolved at least in the urban areas and hence it is not considered very unusual or a taboo to have married in another caste. However, love marriages are not very openly embraced by Indian culture so far, and the responsibility of `getting along` or `getting adjusted` in a marriage is looked upon the couple itself and if anything goes wrong they are the ones who are completely responsible. Though even if we see that the couple is disowned by their respective families, love marriages are surely getting more common among cities rather than villages.
Arranged Vs Love Marriage
Besides popular love lore like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the advent of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system more Indians got educated. These educated Indians in turn started to send their children to school and tried to educate their wives at home. The cause of women`s education and rights were also very much espoused by our social reformers. In spite of this the institution of arranged marriage persisted. Education and exposure to the media, started to make people to think and realize they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners without having to rely on parents, matchmakers, relatives or having to consult astrologers. This gave rise to love marriages.
It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages where the girl/boy is chosen by the parents so there is pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. One of the usual questions against an arranged marriage is that how can you marry somebody you don`t know. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other`s needs and desires. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. However, not all love marriages have happy endings. Sometimes discord arises even in love marriages.
Arranged marriages, they offer more protection, security to the women. Parents` maturity and wise judgment comes in handy when choosing suitable spouses for their children. Sometimes it helps to rely on another person`s opinion and experience when selecting one`s partner especially when the people marrying are young and need guidance and advice in marrying a suitable person. Again, this does not mean arranged marriages are the ideal sort of marriages. Having an arranged does not mean that the married couple remains happily ever after or that there is harmony in the relationship. Women have been known to stay on in abusive relationships for the sake of family pride, respect in society etc. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of pressure to be fair-skinned and beautiful. In India the evil of dowry, caste and community issues and the concept of matching horoscopes, sometimes taken to its extreme levels have contributed much to the argument against arranged marriages.
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