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| Home > Wedding in other countries > British Wedding
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| | British Wedding
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 The ceremony of `Marriage` in Britain had a significant development in the Middle Ages when the Church found it necessary to create marriage ceremonies and legislation to make marriage, a legal and binding contract. The ceremony of getting married in Britain in the 21st Century is made up of traditions, folklore and ritual.
It was believed that evil spirits lurked close to people during rites of passage, so it was very important for good luck charms and rituals to be employed to keep the bride and groom safe on their wedding day and to ensure their future happiness.
A marriage in Britain can be a religious ceremony or a civil ceremony. A religious ceremony is conducted in a Church, while a civil ceremony can be in a Registry Office or place that has been licensed to hold civil ceremonies. The possibility to marry in places other than a Church or Registry Office is allowed because of the 1994 Marriage Act.
The Proposal and Engagement
In the Middle Ages it was often that a woman was `kidnapped` by her groom. A single woman was a very valuable asset to her family - to do the work and work the soil - so many families were reluctant to let their single daughters leave the family to get married. Therefore a man, accompanied by his best friend, who would stand by him in case a fight broke out, would take his bride by force. This led to the tradition of `Best Man` - someone who would stand by the groom to protect him and look after him.
A family having lost their very valuable labour asset of a daughter would then demand a `payment` from the groom to be - this payment was to compensate for the employment of another to do the work previously carried out by the daughter. A time period was arranged for the man to pay for his bride and in the Middle Ages gold rings were used as currency - so a gold ring was given to the family in payment for the bride and is the reason why a gold ring is now placed on the third finger of the left hand.
Often Gimmal Rings which are a set of three interlocking rings were separated and worn in Elizabethan times by the bride to be, the groom to be, and their witness, during the engagement. On the wedding day the three pieces were united as a single ring for the bride. The formality of the groom asking the father of the bride to be, for her hand in marriage, relates to olden times and is an acknowledgment that respect should be paid to a woman`s family for the loss of their daughter.
The Engagement Ring
 The engagement ring is usually in gold because of the tradition and are given as `an intent to marry`. Diamonds are the most chosen stone to decorate rings, either in a wedding ring or engagement ring. The diamond is said to represent innocence, and is a symbol of love and courage. The ancient Greeks believed that diamonds were splinters of stars that had fallen down on the earth. They have also been said to be the tears of Gods, crystallised lightning or hardened dew drops.
Stag Parties
The groom would feast with his male friends on the night before his wedding to celebrate leaving his days of bachelorhood but he would also swear continued allegiance to his buddies. The grooms` friends would also give him money - to ensure that he would still be able to go drinking with them - because after the wedding the bride was supposed to control the money.
Hen Parties
A woman`s hen party is her way to leave her old life but assure her girlfriends she would still remain their friend. The women also gathered to offer advice and support to the new bride.
After The Ceremony
Walking through the arch of swords following the ceremony was done to ensure the couple`s safe passage into their new life together.
Confetti
 In Pagan times rice and grain was usually thrown at the bride and groom to represent fertility and continuity. This has been adapted to paper and dried petals.
Releasing White Doves
The Dove is a symbol of love, peace and faith.
The Wedding Breakfast
Wedding Cakes
 The wedding cake dates back to the Middle Ages when the bride would carry a bouquet of wheat and scatter the grains after the ceremony. This was then made into cakes and broken over the Bride`s head to ensure good luck and fertility. Essentially the wedding cake is a fertility symbol.
The wedding cake is cut by the bride and groom to represent sharing their new life together. All the guests should eat some to ensure good luck. A single woman can place a piece of wedding cake under her pillow and should dream of the man she is going to marry.
If you have a very tall three tiered cake the bride and groom should kiss over the cake and if they don`t knock it over they will have a life of good fortune.
Favours
 The traditional gift is almonds and this is because of the motto: `A gift of five almonds represents health, wealth, long life, fertility and happiness`.
Tying shoes to cars
Shoes were a powerful symbol in ancient times. In Egyptian society, shoes were exchanged when they exchanged goods and the father of the bride would give the groom to be, her shoes, as confirmation of the contract.
The shoe is also a symbol of fertility and a sign of passing responsibility for his daughter onto her husband. In Anglo-Saxon times, the groom would tap the heel of the bride`s shoe to show his authority over her.
Honeymoon
 The tradition of the honeymoon comes from the time when the groom would kidnap his bride to be and carry her of to a secret hiding place where he would keep her for a set period of time until depending on the laws/traditions at the time - her ownership would pass on to him.
On the first night of the honeymoon it was tradition for the wedding party to accompany the bride and groom to the marriage bed. It is also now traditional to make an `apple pie` bed or disrupt the first night in some way or other. This dates back to the Middle Ages when a group of friends would gather and just for fun, try to disturb the married couple by making a lot of noise.
Returning Home
The bride should be carried over the threshold by her groom because the threshold of houses were supposed to contain evil spells. The groom had to carry his bride over the evil spirits in order for her to start her new life, spell free. It was also considered very bad luck if the bride should trip or fall.
Marriage/Hope Chest/Bottom Drawer
Some families began collecting items for their daughter`s marriage as soon as they were born and stored these items in a chest or `bottom drawer`.Linen was embroidered with the daughter`s maiden name - even when they knew who was to be her groom - in case they tempted luck and she didn`t get married.
The Marriage Ceremony
Choosing the day on which to marry was very important in olden times. There are rhymes which indicate which is the best day to marry.
Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all .
Another pagan rhyme tell us which time of year to marry: The sun has always been associated with fertility and summer is traditionally a time when most couples marry. In Scotland it was traditional for the Bride to `walk with the sun`, proceeding from east to west on the south side of the church and then circling the Church three times for good luck.
During the service the groom stands on the right of the bride, this dates back to the days when men wore swords. If any man challenged the groom to the rights of his bride he could draw his sword with his right hand while still hold hers with his left.
The taking of each others right hand as part of the ceremony is because the open right hand is a symbol of strength, resource and purpose. The coming together of both right hands is a symbol that both the bride and the groom can depend on each other and the resources that each brings to the marriage. It also represents the merger of their lives together into one.
The journey of the bride to the church is an important ritual when the bride must look out for `lucky omens` as follows:
see a rainbow.
have the sunshine on your back
have a black cat cross your path.
be greeted by a chimney sweep
`Bad Omens` include
seeing a pig, hare or lizard running across the road,
seeing an open grave.
seeing Monks or Nuns as they foretell barrenness and a life dependent on charity.
Seating in the Church
 The bride`s family sits on one side of the church whilst the groom`s family sits on the other. This goes back to the time when a girl of one tribe would be offered by her father as a peace offering to another tribe. The tribes had to be kept separate in case someone started a fight.
The Kiss
 After the marriage ceremony the bride and groom are asked to kiss. This is a way of showing they are accepting the contract of marriage. In olden times a kiss, usually on the cheek, was a sign of acceptance of an agreement.
Bridesmaids
Because of the susceptibility of the bride to evil spells and in order to confuse the spell landing on the bride, her best friends would dress in the same clothes as herself - so the evil spirits would not know on which person to land.
Flower Girl
 In olden times as the bride and her party walked to the church a little girl would throw flower petals in her path to ensure good luck and ward off evil spirits.
Best Man
The best man originates from the time when a bride to be was often `kidnapped` from her family and the groom would take his very best friend who would help him and support him in case of a fight.
Clothing
 In early times a woman wore her best dress and the groom and guests their best clothing but it is thought that Anne of Brittany started the tradition of wearing a white wedding dress in 1499. It is a myth that white is a sign of virginity, the colour was always associated with `joy` and the colour was also thought to ward off evil spirits.
It was believed that the bride should never make her own dress or try on the outfit before the wedding, or let her groom see her in her wedding dress before the wedding. Enthusiastic rituals ensured the last stitch of the dress was not made until the bride left for the church. All these rituals were to ensure the marriage took place and the bride was not at any risk of not getting married.
The Veil
The veil perhaps originated in the Middle East and because of arranged marriages. The groom was not allowed to see the bride - in case he changed his mind - until the legal ceremony was over and he lifted the veil, revealing her for the first time.
Bridal Bouquet
 Flowers played a very important part in olden times - the smell of the flowers were believed to ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune.
During the plague in England people would wear pouches of flower petals around their necks so they would not be infected with the Plague believed to be carried by strong bad smells. The throwing of the bouquet is a way of spreading the brides good fortune and luck. Whoever catches it will be blessed with good luck and will be the next to marry.
The choice of flowers in a bouquet is usually for visual purposes and to retain a `colour` theme for the wedding but all flowers have a meaning:
Grooms Buttonhole
 The Groom is supposed to wear a flower that appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his buttonhole. This stems from the Medieval tradition of a Knight wearing his Lady`s colours, as a declaration of his love.
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