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| Home > Complication & Medications > Death/Birth defect of the baby
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| | Death/Birth defect of the baby
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 There is some amount of worry and anxiety at the back of the minds of expectant parents about the well-being of their baby during pregnancy and just after being born. You may have some apprehension about your baby being stillborn, being deformed or dead. You keep these agonizing thoughts to yourself and even see them in your dreams. Sharing your anxiety with a supportive partner, parents or friends will make you more optimistic.
Babies normally sail through pregnancy, birth and the early postpartum period. Generally babies do not die from trauma of the birth process, infection and handicaps. But if you are among the most unfortunate ones then, coping with the loss or deformity will be tremendous for you. Be prepared for any eventuality during your labor, have a positive outlook, but be mentally prepared for any outcome, then the suddenness will not disarm you in the first few days after birth.
There are some hard decisions to take, in case your baby dies while you are still pregnant. Whether your baby is stillborn or dead, you will still have to go through labor. You will have to decide on when to induce labor. If inducing is necessary at all. Whether you want to participate in the birth or be anesthetized. In case the baby is stillborn would you like to see him or feel him. Do you want to name your baby. You may want to keep memorabilia`s of your child like a photograph, or a lock of hair etc. You may even want to grieve alone in the confines of your home and take an early discharge from the hospital. You may like to cry over the shoulder of your partner, or may want a priest, Rabbi or minister to visit. You may even like join a support group of parents with similar fate. You may also want an autopsy to ascertain the cause of death.
The whole situation changes if the baby has a birth defect. You may question your ability to care for your child if you are recuperating yourself. You may not be able to nurse your baby if he has to be shifted to another hospital. You may want to share your grief with other parents facing the same predicament. The seriousness of the birth defect and its cure will overwhelm you. The choices regarding care and treatment and long term chances will worry you. While information will be available from the pediatrician you have to select the mode of treatment best suited for your baby. Many communities have organizations that provide support for parents trying to deal with the death or deformity of their baby.
In the event of a stillbirth, death of the newborn or birth defect, you need time to reflect, and understand your labor and birth. This will help you to grieve or care for your baby. A labor and birth report will make you more analytical. Discussing your birth experience with your partner, physician can help you understand what went wrong. There may be some resources in your com-munity that can help you cope. Lean on them and use their support and guidance. Do not blame yourself. Time will heal you emotionally and physically. No matter how painful grieving is, it must be experienced to make you complete. The process is a lengthy one. Reading books, such as, When Hello Means Good-Bye can help you through the early stages of grief.
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